Monday, November 28, 2011

Men and anger .....

Is anger a man thing?Increasingly, we hear incidents of road rage, physical abuse or destruction of objects as commonly witnessed expressions of angry men. The big question is: Are men more prone to violence? Historically, all warriors have been male. Most interpersonal violent crimes have been done by men. Statistics reveal that 90 per cent of murderers and 82 per cent of other violent criminals are male.

" Anger is a burst of emotions."

Scratch the surface of some suave, sophisticated guys and you see seething, simmering discomfort and anger. The masculine features — heavy brows and an angular face — overlap with an angry expression. Analyses a corporate executive, "It's our own insecurities that drive us to aggression and violence. If a man is comfortable with his wife's achievements, then he won't feel insecure. But various things play in his mind... if she has meetings after 6 pm, then it isn't considered legitimate, whereas it's fine for him to work beyond working hours."
More surprising, perhaps, is new research suggesting that the connection between men and anger and women and happiness goes deeper than these simple social stereotypes, regardless of how valid they are.Some psychologists believe, an angry man is one of the most dangerous characters around. Harvard University reports says that women are less afflicted than men by overconfidence, or the delusion that they know more than they really do.

In the words of Anupam Kher, "A man grows up thinking he is better off than the fairer sex. His parents flaunt it if he has many girlfriends. Men also have fewer outlets for their anger. They don't share what's on their mind and rarely cry, which comes out in form of anger or violence. Things like personal inadequacy, job dissatisfaction all add up to that. Men are supposed to be the head of the family. If anything goes wrong, it makes them feel frustrated. The otherwise sophisticated, polished men are often spotted engaged in road rage incidents."

There can be many trigger points in a normal day — a bad morning, a day not going as planned, your child not listening to you, missing a flight, a difficult boss, etc. Or perhaps, one is not on top on the personal or professional front. That can make you disgruntled and upset. And yes, men do lose their temper more often than women. Women are calmer and better with handling sticky situations.

But anger isn't a macho thing anymore. Upto a level where 10 million adult men in the United States are so angry, they're ill. In fact, their disease has a name: intermittent explosive disorder, or IED. Few people see psychiatrists because they can't control their tempers. "Men are encouraged to express their emotions, even anger, while women are told to hide negative emotions. Men play with guns and girls with dolls. Scientifically, men are more violent. Rape isn't a sexual act, it's about demeaning the other person and showing aggression."

In fact, men seem to embrace their anger and use it to their advantage whereas women view anger as counter-productive.Men can be barbaric when it comes to losing their temper. They believe in shortcuts, banging someone and having their way. They also know they are the physically stronger sex and don't hide that emotion at all. They believe less in talking and more in being tough.

Testosterone levels are high and men just can't keep cool under duress. Anger is instinctive. However, an act of anger may be more a sign of weakness than a display of strength!


source : TOI , Times Life
P.S. This is not intended to hurt anybody's feelings. Posted in good faith and good spirit.

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